sighhs. today woke up at 11 plus. i dont want to wake up. dont wake mie up. haiss. when i open my eyes, i will have to face everything againss. i slack a lot. have been doing the tys for so long. think is i slow. haiss. everything i do also failed de. so sibai. felt down. auto agains lohhs. no one will care de lahhs. stayed at home the whole day. i cant go outtx at sundays. cause of my dad lohhs. i dont like him. sorrys mich and don. unable to study with you all. i doze off when lie on the sofa. lazy bum. yes, i am. kor called mie to ask maths qns. and we chat a little. hahas. after thats i sit there and think and think. counting the days left. ARRRRGH ! aaround 79 says only ? wth. there's no time for mie. there are lots to study. hows ? hows ? hows ? i am damm scared. very scared. surprisingly, i told my mum about it. she still console mie. so sweet of her. hees. but also nagg mie lohhs. say if i cut down the time for msging. for watching tv. for onlining. for shopping. i will have the time. maybe i should really cut down bahhs. for the sake of my future. haiss. but very hardd lehhs. CONTROL myself. i am dying manns. start all over againss for chinese. taking outtx the notes from the pile. haiss. whys i have this kind of life ? i dont want to go through this. i need someone to pei mie go through it. sighhs. whats i have decided to do to improve ? ummm. still thinking. i have to manage my time. i have to spent much time on studying everyday. i must cut down this and thats. but i cant study at home. unless i isolate myself in a room. haiss. no choice. prelims and o levels. hows i wish i am clever. around evening. family and i went to eat. yummy ! i am getting fatter each day. haiss. then went to several place to buy school shoes. only hougang mall there have. finally. then went home lohhs. yuppes. i have to thannks reeree for the nice testi. i dont mind shoes flying towards mie. cause i canns catch. lolss. and thannks to the anonymous for the advice. althought i dont know is who. i have no choice but to retake mahhs. yahhs. have to jiayou a lot a lot. support mie ? hope so. sighhs. you told mie you maybe nottx studying in school. maybe nottx taking o levels. maybe go outtx study. is it thats badd ? i dont know. your chinese good mahhs. so much better than my C6. haiss. i dont know hows to help you. hows to console you. i am useless. sorrys. i know she is better. this is always whats i think. i knew it. ' no point if you know you gonna fail.' to mie, i also have no confidence i canns do it mahhs. whats if i fail ? i canns go die lerrs. no point living. neverminds lahhs. is your decision. up to you. just wont see you lerrs. hope you are fine then. haiss. you have your own route. and mie ? lost ! seriously, i dont know where to go. whats is my aim and goal ? i dont know. sighhs. i am going no where. no direction. walking aimlessly. someone tell mie whats to do ? i am feeing damm stress. ouch. the scar is there. the pain is there. nobody will understandd de. crys. ' i will be there for you ' this phrase. yes, i need this. but is it true ? i cant see anyone there when i need. haiss. tomolo o level english oral lerrs. i am scared. scared and scared. never have enough practise. tryy my best bahhs. good luck for the rest. yuppes. good nites ! take cares. huggs -
