Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
meaningless'
sighhs. i hate people thats wake mmie up. i hate people saying 'anything' and 'whatever'. i woke up at 11am today. i feel no good. so i listen to songs. made mie feel better. but sadds. yahhs. i dont feel like going outtx lerrs. no money anyway. go where ? rain lerrs. hoping to be outtx there with someone. seems impossible. in the end, my sis and i still went outtx. we ate yoshinoya. i long time never eat lerrs. damm full. went to buy my jeans. is very long. hahas. my sis bought heels. is nicce. very nice. but ex and so high. suitable for her and nottx mie. i am tall enough lerrs. nobody will wants such a tall one. i am jealous of her. the heels is nice. finally i gettx to eat rotiboy. yummy ! saw shuai ge there. hahas. after thats we went home lerrs. i am damm tiredd. began to auto againns till now. i have no mood to do homework. die lerrs. really feel like dying now. right now. everything seems meaningless. i live for nothing. whats am i doing in this world ? i am useless. nobody even need mie. and i just think too far. i am nottx important to you. when i saw the miss call. i was shocked and happy. i think so. you dont feel good. you are troubled. but you wont say whys. and you said neverminds. we are so near. but yet so far. far far away. i cant go outtx and accompany you. i am sorrys ! i hope you canns control thats. one day so much. you kept saying neverminds de lahhs. if die lerrs canns neverminds. i canns die right in front of you. i thought you really care. but i dont think so. after coming online. i saw all the words. the picture agains. i hate thats picture. i hate her. it shows thats you cant forget. we cannot even talk more than 8 sentences. is worse than a stranger. and i think lerrs. i decided to really forget you. forget all the things. there's no point. i will never know whats you want. i never understandd you. you love her. and thats it. thats the conclusion. i hope i canns do it from today onwards. tryying to forget. slowly bahhs. it takes time. but this period is going to be terrible. and damm painful. i must nottx xin ruan. sighhs. somehow tiredd of life. really tiredd lerrs. i canns die any moment. but is nottx a peaceful one. life is just so short. must cherish everything. but i know i cant do it. i wanted to leave this kind of life. i will be more happy in heaven. please send mie there. where there are no troubles and problems. tomolo have maths remedial and tuition. arrrgh ! sure very tiredd de. neverminds. keep myself as busy as i canns. i dont want to think about any matter. dont let mie have the time to think. nottx even a second. i left with nothing now. really nothing. i envy kor. he canns talk to his parents. i wont. i dont feel like. no use anyway. they dont understandd. i cant talk to anyone. i lost trust since long time ago. after many things thats happen, i have learnt my lesson. neverminds. i am living alonne. lonely' hope i will be fine. i will be okay. good nites ! take cares. huggs-
