Friday, September 16, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
live today like it's my last day
sighhs. yesterday night was so moody. cried. i cant control mahhs. if you never call maybe i wont think so much. i dont know hows to describe the feeling lahhs. stress. worried. troubled. blahs blahs' during night time, when i was lying on my bed. i will think lots of things thats happened. thats could happen. thats will happen. the pasts. is like the end of the day, i will made conclusions. wild conclusions. i know i think too much. but thats mie lahhs. i cant stop myself from those thinkings. sighhs. many things i am worry about. i cant think of. i admit she is one of it. i hate her. i feel like killing her. but i cant. haiss. forget it. i have to face the reality. i have to face her. i wish my tuition is different time from her. if nottx i will totally no mood to concentrate. and is all her fault. and mine too lahhs. yuppes. today went to school and have e maths paper one. i never doze off horrs. i do and do. some qns dont know hows to do. was rather okay bahhs. i aim high for this. i am tiredd. went to canteen and many people doesnt feel good. sadds faces. nobody have appetite to eat so went up and study. i start to auto. but lucky got kor and boss. crapps around made mie feel better. paper two lerrs. oops. i have a feeling it will be damm damm difficult. ARRGHH ! its true. the first qn i dont know lerrs. sianns. one qn more difficult than another one. bth lahhs. i slack infront. and end up so worked up. i rush here and there. never done finish. haiss. i do till my pen no ink. my hands were trembling canns. the paper is more difficult than whats mrtan's. sighhs. mood swing againss. feel like crying lohhs. my hopes are dashed. my only hope. i am sure it will pull my marks down. if i canns pass this paper, i canns go die lerrs. i never met such paper in my life. no complaints from others. only from charity. diligence. integrity and joy. think so. pro lohhs. we are just different. badd mood arrrgh. bought ice cream. made mie feel better. but is fattening. oops. nottx i dont want respect my parents. i know i only have one dad. one mum. i also dont want to regret if i die one day. i will tryy to treat them better. sometimes they are just so unreasonable. nottx understannding. i need understandding parents. haiss. went home then. nobody's at home. take a rest. cant sleep. start to study chinese. and i doze off. hahas. thats good. i finally canns sleep lerrs. think one hour only nia. woke up and continue studying. watch tv. ate dinner as usual. i want to go outtx there and blow air. but i cant. hmmmph. sorrys ! look through those words. boss reminds mie to bring dictionary. thannks ! tomolo still have tuition. tiredd arrh. then go min hse study bahhs. so thats i canns stay outtx and blow air. hahas. whats a good excuse ! i dont feel good now. many things to think about. thats all bahhs. god bless' good nites. take care. huggs-
