Monday, September 19, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
pray'
sighhs. last night was very sleepy. but at 3 plus i woke up. cant get to sleep then. turn here and there. woke up at 11 plus. i am tiredd. yawns. then do chem tys. listen to songs. i think i am going to fail my prelims. so far i never done well. i always think thats is nottx enough. no matter hows, i cant do it. time seems to pass so fast. and i am slacking. very FAN. i am blaming myself for being so stupid. and lazy. whys cant i be more clever ? none of my subjects are good. if is last year, still have maths. but now, i lost everything. i sark at every subject. i dont have confident to go on. i feel like giving up studies. but my future hows ? where canns i go without the cert. i will be sweeping the floor. no one push mie. i just hope someone canns wake mie up. canns beat mie. use any violent ways to force mie to study. NOW ! i cant on like this. i must do something. i must study damm hardd. i dont want disappoint you all. please help mie. cane mie. beat mie. sighhs. i cant concentrate. sis talked so much crapps. made mie laugh and laugh. i cant study with her around bahhs. yuppes. prepare lunch. then continue. dont want do lerrs. look through. went down to help to keep present. hahas. parents back lerrs. noisy arrrrh. i love them loads but the next moment i hate them loads. haiss. after dinner, watch tv lohhs. slack around againss. sis went down with mum. today is latern festival mahhs. hahas. then after a while dad bring the noisy bird down. he so act cute canns. sometimes he canns be so childish and farnie. lolss. he went down to find them. my sis and i laughed at him non stop. damm xia suay cause very noisy with the music on. hahas. i watch tv and look through the textbook. hope i canns do it tomolo. i know is nottx enough. haiss. but whats canns i do ? i am lost. whats if my study method wrong ? whats if i fail ? whats if i disappoint them ? whats if i lost everything ? sighhs. i am scared. very scared. tomolo is chem. then physics. then a maths. then f&n. arrrgh ! so much to go. 42 more days to o levels. OMG ! i am dying. very worry. i cant rest in peace. i dont want to regret. haiss. please pray for my friend friend's grandma who is in hospital now. the doctor cant do anything with her heart problem. everyone please pray for her. i hope she will be fine. life is just so short. nobody knows whats will happen next. cherish whats you have now. yuppes. one good news. i complete the lullaby song. taught by my girlfriend. lolss. she want mie to say de. hahas. good nites ! take cares. love you. huggs-
