sighhs. fuck fuck fuck. sark sark sark. i just hate it. hate this life. hate this world. hate everything. nothing seems to go right. i thought i have grown up. i thought i have see everything easy. i thought i will be strong. but i am bluffing myself. i just cant be strong. i am still that weak. still the one that crys. slits. think wildly. cant see things right. cant be positive. cant understandd. cant have the one. maybe is fated to be. i worked everyday now. and woke up early. my life became so empty. everyday, i force myself to wake up. walk to the place i worked at. do whatever things i had to do. drink coffee. helped outtx. smile to everyone even though i dnt want to. just like wearing a mask. finish work, bought dinner and went home. just so simple. but i am really really lost. i tryy agains. but i lost it agains. hais. everything is fated. let it go. time heals. but the wound is being cut agains. is more painful than the first time. bleeds. sighhs. take mie away. i dnt want to be so painful. so hurtful. so depressing. die faster will shorten the journey. please.
